I am not going to lie, this Thanksgiving was tough. I had taken an “alcohol sabbatical” for several of the past few years, enjoying the benefits of better sleep and less anxiety. Going through the holidays without drinking isn’t new to me. I felt guilty for drinking through holidays rather than focusing on the people I was spending them with.

In a pandemic year, there are so many other things to cause stress that simply not drinking, isn’t enough to remove the anxiety surrounding the holidays. First there were the decision, so many decisions, decision fatigue.

We opted to travel by car, stay in our own place and eat (in the winter) outside. Amazingly, it all worked. But it wasn’t fun. The monkey part of by brain kept telling me it would be more fun if I was drinking. Sadly, I spent more time thinking about drinking than I had for months. I didn’t drink, but I resented being sober.

I am back home and catching up on sleep, though the looming Christmas holiday and the ongoing insanity that is my school district isn’t helping.

I didn’t drink, all I can do is focus on the positives.