Category Archives: Life Without Alcohol

80 Days without alcohol and a sober Thanksgiving

I am not going to lie, this Thanksgiving was tough. I had taken an “alcohol sabbatical” for several of the past few years, enjoying the benefits of better sleep and less anxiety. Going through the holidays without drinking isn’t new to me. I felt guilty for drinking through holidays rather than focusing on the people I was spending them with.

In a pandemic year, there are so many other things to cause stress that simply not drinking, isn’t enough to remove the anxiety surrounding the holidays. First there were the decision, so many decisions, decision fatigue.

We opted to travel by car, stay in our own place and eat (in the winter) outside. Amazingly, it all worked. But it wasn’t fun. The monkey part of by brain kept telling me it would be more fun if I was drinking. Sadly, I spent more time thinking about drinking than I had for months. I didn’t drink, but I resented being sober.

I am back home and catching up on sleep, though the looming Christmas holiday and the ongoing insanity that is my school district isn’t helping.

I didn’t drink, all I can do is focus on the positives.

50 Days Alcohol Free, halfway to 100

As impossible as it might have seemed, I have actually stopped counting the days. I went to my tracking ap and had to back fill in the past week.

I had sort of a meh week, I could have used a little more sunshine and fewer needy people. But, I didn’t drink. There were no hangovers. There was no guilt about broken promises to myself. I set a (mostly) good example to my children of how an adult deals with the ups and downs of life. I still have plenty of work to do on my own issues but at least I can focus on them long enough to own them.

40 Days Without Alcohol

According to my tracker, it has been 40 days since I last drank alcohol. It is amazing to think how impossible this would have seemed 2 months ago. I went from planning and thinking about what and when I was going to drink to not even thinking about it. Most of the time.

I am learning to recognize my triggers. I am learning to recognize the HALT (am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired.)

This “New Normal” has changed my workplace as a healthcare provider, possibly forever. There are new obstacles at work in addition to the ones I already faced. My kids are facing challenges with virtual learning that I can’t even begin to navigate. Drinking won’t change these things.

I came accross this blog post today. I felt understood. I hope this blog makes someone else feel understood.

40 days seems like a long time. 40 good mornings, 40 better nights of sleep. 40 full meals at dinner instead of drinking early and often.

Even a bad day is a better day without a hangover

Some days are just blah days. Instead of trying to jazz things up by drinking I am trying to come to peace with the feeling that I won’t always feel good. Some days you are just in a bad mood. Some days you feel like you can’t made any decisions let alone good decisions. The only decision that you shouldn’t make it to drink, that will not make anything better. Even a bad day is better without a hangover. A good day will definitely be better without a hangover.

Yes, your hangover is getting worse with age.

You probably started your day with a hangover and you didn’t even know it, but your body sure did.

Mornings are the worst. Or at least they used to feel that way. The brain fog, the dull headache, the vague nausea.

Mornings aren’t the problem, your one, two, three or four drinks last night are.

One of the things that is most vivid to me when I stop drinking (after the first few rage-filled days are over) is how awesome the mornings are. Yes, I said awesome. Even with kids whining and making my lunch and driving to work, it’s all so much more manageable.

I wasn’t having ragers or heading out to the club, I was simply drinking what was suppoed to be one glass of wine which turned into the bottle. Or the 7% ABV beer that turned into two.

Alcohol content aside, the empty sugar, the yeast and the sulfites alone are enough to make you feel gross. Alcohol is also a diuretic leading to dehydration which in turn, makes you feel crappier.

Here is a description of the metabolic process involved in a hangover:

“Over the course of a night of heavy drinking, your blood alcohol level continues to rise. Your body labors to break down the alcohol – consumed as ethanol in beer, wine or spirits – forming damaging oxygen free radicals and acetaldehyde, itself a harmful compound. The longer ethanol and acetaldehyde stick around, the more damage they can do to your cellular membranes, proteins and DNA, so your body’s enzymes work quickly to metabolize acetaldehyde to a less toxic compound, acetate.

Over time, your ethanol levels drop through this natural metabolic process. Depending on how much you consumed, you’re likely to experience a hangover as the level of ethanol in your blood slowly returns to zero. Your body is withdrawing from high levels of circulating alcohol, while at the same time trying to protect itself from the effects of alcohol.” https://theconversation.com/hangovers-happen-as-your-body-tries-to-protect-itself-from-alcohols-toxic-effects-124630

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a lot to put my body through every night and expect to wake up feeling chipper.

At night, I set my coffee pot for the next morning. I have splurged on some fancy roast coffee instead of the Kirkland 3 gallon drum I usually buy. I will tell you this, coffee has never tasted so good. I only drink one cup because I have found that I am sensitive to caffeine (and probably alcohol too but I can stop at one cup of joe). It smells good. It tastes good. I have room in my brain to appreciate all of it.

Mornings are a whole new experience. I feel good. Even when my day sucks, I realize how much more it would have sucked if I faced it with a mild (or not so mild) hangover.

Mornings are no longer a shameful reminder of my broken promises from the night before. I hold my head high in the morning and drink my fancy cup of coffee.

If you are drinking every night, even if it’s “just one,” give your body a break from the dehydration and the manic enzymatic breakdown of toxic compounds. I realize caffeine is also a diuretic but that is a bridge I will cross another time.

You probably started your day with a hangover and you didn’t even know it, you don’t have to. You wouldn’t tell your friend to wait for lung cancer to stop smoking, why wait to start feeling better?

After a month without alcohol, some good news

According to my tracker it has been 32 days since I stopped drinking. By my memory, no month has more than 31 days so I am over a month sober! Hooray!

What’s the big deal about being a month sober?

  1. Mornings are so much better. If you are a a daily drinker, you probably have a low-grade hangover every morning. Seriously, you have no idea what even one or two drinks is doing to your body until you give it up for a month.
  2. Sleep is better. I have never been a “good” sleeper, even as a child. I have come to peace with the fact that I will never be as sound of a sleeper as my significant other but alcohol wreaks havoc on my sleep. The misguided idea that you are making yourself “sleepy” by drinking before bed has been proven false. If you suffer from insomnia, do yourself a favor and stop drinking alcohol.
  3. My eyes look brighter. I am not sure if this is something subjective or objective but I feel less puffy and my sclera appear whiter.
  4. Energy is up, my runs have improved both in endurance and speed. I no longer “fall asleep” on the couch at night.
  5. I remember what I read and watch, I don’t need to elaborate on this one, you know who you are.
  6. I have fewer repetitive thoughts and my anxiety has decreased. Like insomnia, many people think they are relieving their anxiety by drinking, The reality is you are making it much worse. Your brain can’t do it’s job if you keep pickling it with ethanol. Go a month without drinking and see how you feel. Jean from Unpickled unpacks anxiety and body repetitive disorders here.