Category Archives: How to Quit Drinking

Life After “Moderation”

Like may people, the idea of drinking in moderation sounds like a great goal. After we try it enough times, we realize that this is an illusion, not reality.

Sometimes we need to practice quitting. This is my 3rd or 4th time going 100 days without drinking, aside from pregnancies.

My advice if you “relapse”

  • Be nice to yourself, perfection is not the goal, a healthy, happy life is the goal.
  • Practice makes perfect! I found that I could recognize the “stages” of withdrawal and it helped to figure out the timeline.
  • Use an App, I am currently using “I am Sober”. I find that tracking the days, especially in the beginning provides motivation.
  • Don’t overdo the sugar. Treats are fine but we are trying to have fewer mood swings.
  • Get a lot of exercise, real exercise. Running is my lifeline.
  • Read a book, I really like Alcohol Explained by William Porter and Alcohol Lied to Me

If you consume an addictive substance, over time you will become addicted. That’s it. You aren’t weak, You are broken. You have fallen into a self-perpetuation trap. The only way out is to stop completely. You need to act as though you have an allergy to alcohol.

Today I am 107 Days Sober. Every day you don’t drink is a day your body and mind gets to heal.

If you want to feel more alive, go 30 days without drinking alcohol.

30 days isn’t much in the grand scheme of the universe. For someone who is drinking daily, 30 days feels like a lifetime.

I was not a teenage drinker. I didn’t even drink much in college. I had a lot of fun in college and in high school and did not need to drink. I used to laugh a lot. In fact, I was a model student in every other way, but I would get in trouble for laughing.

There were some good times when I drank as well. When I was in high school, I prided myself on my ability to enjoy myself and have fun without alcohol. The change in my attitude towards alcohol started in professional school. It was a high stress environment with little time for anything but work. When you had down time, you drank. I imagine that this is a similar experience for many graduate level programs, you drink to get drunk.

This is where my Pavlovian cycle of stress/discomfort/alcohol/relaxation began. I wasn’t drinking for fun, I was drinking to forget. Drinking to stop feeling the fear and the negative emotions. Drinking to take the edge off. Drinking to numb my brain and feelings.

For a while this in an effective way to relieve stress. Alcohol is addictive and for many people, the dopamine fix leads to a cycle of adapting to higher amounts of alcohol for a diminishing level of “relaxation.”

Numbing your feelings can seem like a good idea, especially when your feelings are negative. Alcohol numbs your good feelings too. It flattens you out until you feel like you are in Groundhog Day. I did not want a joy-less, flat life.

25 Days into not drinking and I feel more alive. I laugh more, I get mad more but I feel alive. I think everyone, even those who don’t feel like they have a problem with alcohol, should go 30 days without drinking. 30 days without drinking to remember a time when you had to deal with your emotions, life, hopes and dreams without numbing your brain. You may find there is no difference. You may find that you are stronger, smarter, happier and more alive than you thought.

The first few days are the hardest, the chemical and physical dependency is real, stick with it for 30 days and decide for yourself!

There are many groups dedicated to a 30 day trial of an alcohol-free lifestyle. I did not partake in a formal group, I just used a habit tracker ap and listened to podcasts. Check out Belle’s group on “Tired of thinking about drinking” and the “This Naked Mind” Community.

How do you stop drinking? Let’s get stopped

Stop Drinking

The first step is obvious, don’t drink. Find something else to put in your glass. Treat yourself. I like the fancy San Pellegrino seltzer. Add a dash of tart cherry or lime juice. This will hydrate you and fill you up, making the idea of a drink less appealing.

Remove alcohol from your home

I have found that removing alcohol from your house is very helpful. Too often I would justify a (good day, bad day, rainy day) reason to drink if there was something cold and readily available. Even a really gross cider that sat in my garage fridge (despite it’s relatively high APV, more on that later) became palatable if I mixed it with something else. Add wine and viola! Sangria.

Truly disgusting.

Disrupt your routine

Go for a walk as soon as you get home. Better yet, don’t go straight home after work, find an alternative. Humans are creatures of habit. Drinking alcohol has become a habit. Habits follow routines, break one and break the other. Excercise!

Find a podcast to motivate you

I am partial to the Bubble Hour, especially the years hosted by Jean. There is something so soothing yet stern in her voice. She is strong and living her best life. You can too. There are a lot of sober podcasts out there, find something that motivates and resonates with you.

Be accountable

There are many Facebook groups and online groups that focus on a cooperative approach to sobriety. I found that helping someone in an earlier stage or in a pre-stage of quitting motivated me to stay the course. On the flip side, I found that too many people relapsing and talking constantly about drinking actually weakened my resolve after a few months. It can be disheartening to see the same people make the same mistakes and it is easy to justify your own “slips.”

Use a calculator

As simple creatures craving rewards for behavior, somthing as simple as setting a streak can provide a mood boost and some dopamine. There are many free tracking aps available for your phone. I prefer a simple ap with a strong visual showing your continuity of your “chain.”

Read

I find this one a little tricky. The “quit lit” was useful to me during the years I needed to identify my drinking issues. When I actually became sober, I found the repetative romanticizing and the constant reminders of drinking to be distracting.

Analyze

This is the tough one, one you might not be able to deal with yet. We all know that this drinking is a result of something else. The “why” of our drinking is messy and hard and the reason we have avoided dealing with our issues. Journaling, therapy and talking to loved ones will help you make sense of the journey.

Be nice to yourself

Go to bed early, eat healthy meals, get plenty of exercise and sleep. Treat yourself the way you would treat and ailing loved one. Self care doesn’t have to be about bubble baths and facials (but it can if that’s your thing!), it can be simple kindness. I bought fancier coffee than the Costco vat I usually consume and imported seltzer (ooh la la.) Simple but it made me feel special and cared for.

It’s never too late to be a better person.