Category Archives: Signs of a Drinking Problem

Is the universe sending you signs to stop drinking?

Do you ever feel like you are are the set of the Truman Show? When I was a kid, before the movie even came out, I felt like I was on a show of my life. I am sure this a psychological milestone that all kids reach and that I was not unique, bu it certainly wasn’t something I ever told other people. I wonder if my anxiety was a cause or an effect of this feeling of being watched/judged.

Between work, virtual school, cooking and cleaning and general living, I don’t watch much television. I am a child of the 80’s and I love me some trashy television, but during the week we don’t watch tv.

Yesterday was a rainy Saturday and we were lounging around, watching tv. Hotel Impossible is a family favorite, I like rooting for the underdog. It’s like watching Kitchen Nightmares without the constant bleeping of F-bombs.

The particular episode we watched on this lazy, rainy Saturday was about a hotel in Hershey, PA where the manager was an alcoholic. He had been through treatment and had decided that he was no longer a problem drinker. Obviously, this was not the case. It was sad to see the level of denial people who continue to drink live in. I remember justifying my drinking many times by saying “it’s not hurting anyone.”

I recognize that even with those around me being unaware of my drinking problem, it was hurting everyone around me. From erratic moods and unrealistic expectations to a lack of truly being present, my drinking seeped into all aspects of my life.

Later in the day, we watched an episode of Seinfeld, in which James Spader is an alcoholic in recovery making amends to everyone but George Costanza. I have watched all of the episodes of Seinfeld several times over and I don’t remember watching this episode before.

Later (this is a rainy Saturday lazy day- don’t judge me) we watched a 30 Rock Episode in which Liz follows a guy she is interested in during his lunch hour. He is going to an AA meeting and Liz pretends to be in AA in order to get to know him.

It was an eerie feeling to watch 3 shows out of 6 dealing with alcohol abuse. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something.

It’s been 31 days since I last numbed ny feelings with alcohol. In this time I have not had any life altering experiences. What I have experienced is awareness. Maybe we aren’t always ready to deal with awareness, the 60 year old man on Hotel Impossible was not.

There are many things I did in my 20’s that I no longer do in my 40’s. Eating at Buffalo Wild Wings, watching Survivor and going to “Ladies Night” at the club are just a few. Drinking alcohol falls into this category for me now, it is one of those things that I no longer do, it’s just not part of my day. Instead of feeling guilty about the past, I am focusing in the positive steps I am taking for a better today.

If you seem to focus on the drinking behavior people in movies and tv shows, maybe the universe is telling you it’s time to find a new hobby. Give in to reverse peer-pressure, you don’t have to drink!

Sign #3 that you might have a drinking problem

Do you find the idea of doing anything away from home, especially at night, dreadful? I remember being very concerned that an evening class would interfere with my Thursday night ritual of drinking and watching Survivor. This was probably close to 20 years ago, but the idea of not being able to sit in my lounge wear, drinking a few “Tom Collins” and watching reality television was upsetting to me.

Fast forward a few years, any invitation in the evening would mean I would have to alter my routine of drinking, especially if I had to drive. I would sit through the meeting, etc and think of how late I would get home and if it would still be possible to have a drink when I got home. I resented having to do anything that would interfere with my drinking. Sadly, this included going to my kid’s concerts and assemblies. I hated dealing with anxiety without the use of my only coping mechanism.

If you find yourself avoiding invitations or activities that interfere with your evening ritual of drinking until you are muddled, then you might have a drinking problem.

For me, my quiet slide into daily drinking was a way to provide space for myself, quiet the noise in my head. It became very isolating. Since I have stopped drinking, I am much happier to talk to people and be social.

Today marks 3 weeks sober for me. I remember a time when I did the hard things without needing a drink. Now, I am proud to be in a position to help someone any time of day or night. I am not losing anything, only gaining.

I imagine that when I am older and grayer I will still be able to catch up on the drinking I am “missing” if I choose to in the future. I will never get these years back with my family or even with the neighbors I have been avoiding.

Do I have a drinking problem? Sign #2

If you avoiding eating food so you you can get a better buzz from alcohol, you might have a drinking problem.

I hated the nights I would come home from work and dinner was ready.

Does this sound like a rational or reasonable feeling? What person wouldn’t, after a long day at work and an even longer commute want to come home to a hot meal already on the table? Someone with a drinking problem.

My husband is not very organized in the kitchen, I preferred the nights when I could get a few drinks in while “helping” finish dinner. It was even better when nobody was home and I could drink and cook in peace and qiuet.

In my drinking days, dessert was something I could pass on. Now that I am consuming hundreds fewer liquid empty calories, I have room for dessert!

Since I have quit drinking, dinner is a welcome sight at the end of the day. When I am driving home, I bring an extra snack or two in my lunch to keep me from being tempted by the “empty stomach faster buzz” bug.

If you find yourself avoiding food in order to drink alcohol, if you prefer alcohol to dessert, you might have a drinking problem.

Do I have a drinking problem? Sign #1

If you look at the ABV (alchohol by volume) and select your beverage of choice primarily by what has the highest amount of alcohol. You might have a drinking problem.

I can tell you which beers/ciders/wines have the most alcohol. I stopped drinking liquor a few years ago after it became too obvious that I was going through gallons size jugs of gin and tequila more quickly than “normal.”

Craft brews and ciders were my favorite. Almost always they were higher in alcohol, plus you are supporting a local business, yay! At at a tasting room, I would proclaim my disdain for sweet drinks, preferring dry ciders or bitter beers. Ironically, both of these preferences usually align with a higher alcohol content.

During my years of “moderation” and bargaining with myself, I would promise myself that I would only drink one drink a night. Of course, I needed to make this count so I avoided buying anything under 6% ABV, trying to find 7-8% was preferable. If you are reading this blog, I probably don’t have to tell you that the one drink a night promise didn’t last long.

If you find yourself eschewing a low-alcohol option so you don’t fill up on some weak sauce, you might have a drinking problem.